The title of his latest book is long, but it fits: it summarizes a thousand-year wait. And then, as the epigraph suggests, since for everything there is its moment, now the time would also have come. Time for excuses.
“I'm still waiting for someone to apologize to me” is the novel (even a little wise) by Michela Marzano, just released by Rizzoli, whose central theme is gender violence. A question dear to the philosopher, writer, columnist for "la Repubblica" and "La Stampa", who will talk about it on Saturday in Cagliari (Teatro Doglio, at 6pm). The event is part of the program of the LEI Festival, organized by Company B, with the artistic direction of Alice Capitanio, scheduled for the weekend.
Will these apologies ever arrive?
"I do not know. It is true that now many men apologize without having acted violently, while those who have done so are often not even aware of it. In any case, we must stop feeling ashamed and guilty for what we have suffered."
In the book she focuses on the difficulty women have in saying no. Why is it so uphill?
«Because we are still immersed in rape culture, that is, within very widespread stereotypes, according to which being a man means forcing, imposing oneself and abusing one's power, and for a woman to give in. Giving in, however, does not mean consenting. Despite the steps taken, women lack full awareness of their own value, the fact that it is independent of the gaze or words of others."
How is consent expressed?
«The issue of consent is complex. Consent in emotional relationships has nothing to do with the informed consent given to a medical act. It is, rather, a process, which can be given and then immediately withdrawn, because situations, desires and moods change. Furthermore, it cannot be formalized because otherwise there is a risk of taking away the spontaneity and authenticity of relationships."
So, how do you do it?
«We must not stop listening to the person next to us, because there is a whole part of implicitness, of non-verbal language, which we must be able to grasp. And then we have to reconstruct the grammar of the relationships."
Six years after the Me Too movement, what has changed?
«Not very much, also because the lockdown arrived immediately afterwards and the matter was dismissed. Even some left-wing intellectuals have said “enough of this zipper McCarthyism.” But how is it enough? For the first time, women find the courage and strength to tell what happened to them without being ashamed, and do we tell them enough?
What effects can the new law to combat violence against women have?
«Since the Istanbul Convention was ratified in 2013, the rules have multiplied disproportionately, but until we act on a cultural and educational level, nothing will ever change. The Convention defined violence against women as a systemic phenomenon and proposed the three P strategy: punish; to protect; to prevent. So far, much has been done on the punishment front, but little on the protection and prevention front."
Can the fragility of the new generations be a cause of gender violence?
«The increase in addictions and suicide attempts demonstrate that the fragility of adolescents is a dramatic phenomenon. However, why is it always boys who commit violence against girls and not vice versa?".
As Michela Murgia said, is the responsibility of the patriarchy?
«I don't like this word and I never use it in the book. The work that Michela did is very important, but I didn't always agree with her positions. I prefer to talk about rape culture. Adolescents grow up with books on literature, history, philosophy, in which the female figure is absent, or it seems that it is part of their nature to give in or remain silent."
How much does Murgia's absence weigh on this debate?
«It certainly weighs, yet she has sown a lot so there are many young women who repeat her words and have taken up the baton. After all, the greatness of a person is seen by the ability to leave a legacy, and his legacy is enormous."
