«Violence is just a step away from abuse and intimidation, you almost don't see it coming and the risk is then to suffer it helplessly, to get used to that situation».
Silvia, a fictitious name, 38 years old, originally from Northern Italy, tells the story, having survived a certain femicide thanks to an anti-violence center in Sardinia: "Helping even just one woman ask for help - she explains to ANSA - before it's too late and we reach a point of no return, psychological subjection is already a clear warning." Often, she recalls, she saw anti-violence posters on the walls of her city. "I thought many times about calling those numbers, but I didn't because - she confesses - I was afraid of losing my children if I had decided to abandon that hell closed between the four walls of my home ."
In the end she found the courage to say enough and decided to go far away, to the Island. "I was welcomed into a safe house with my children - she says - slowly, through a difficult path, at times painful but constructive, I regained my dignity and freedom". Now Silvia, back home, has a job, many friends, many interests, travel, mountain excursions, writing, photography. "I took my life back - she says confidently - If I was saved I have to thank the anti-violence center in Sardinia and before that a psychologist I turned to because I was worried about the consequences of the situation I was experiencing, for my children. She told me that in reality I was the one in danger, convincing me to turn to an anti-violence center".
Three children who were still minors, a violent marriage behind her. "My husband and I met when we were kids," she recalls. "I always had his photograph in my fingers, I looked at it with the eyes of love. I couldn't imagine what a threat was hidden behind that romantic dream. There were all the warning signs, but I underestimated them." Silvia talks about a possessive relationship, made up of prohibitions, impositions: "He kept telling me 'you have to be a good girl, don't wear miniskirts, no low-cut clothes, no going out with friends, and go straight home after school.' Then came the marriage, the children, and the violence, first psychological and then gradually physical. He had isolated me from everyone, even my family, and I couldn't even have a few euros to buy groceries. Everything was controlled by him. Every little insubordination of mine was initially punished with sulks and silence. I was completely submissive. But I didn't realize, it seemed normal to me, every time he managed to convince me that he would change."
Today Silvia is a conscious woman: "Without the anti-violence center I would never have made it - she reiterates - Now I feel strong. I have understood that relationships make sense if they enrich both and are equal. I have learned how important it is to read the signs. If I look back it seems absurd that I did not realize this. I have been able to verify from my own experience that turning to anti-violence centers, with their expertise and adequate tools, can turn tragic destinies around and save many lives".
(Online Union)